I had this exchange a couple months ago with Amber Benson who is, probably most famous for her role as Tara on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, though she’s acted in many other things and has even written a few books.
I don’t like the idea of “outing” people at all, but this is not something that was done in private, so, in my opinion, it’s really just pointing out something that was always there to be seen.
I was hurt by her comments. She’s someone I looked up to and idolized, but at this moment she kind of broke me. Not only did she totally cissplain at me why I “shouldn’t be offended” and completely disregard my own feelings, but she proclaimed herself an ally practically in the same sentence. It was apparently important enough that she justify herself directly to me, but my feelings (and likely others as well who didn’t say anything, but I can only speak for myself) weren’t important enough to have any consideration whatsoever.
This is not okay. Not only did she offend me directly, but I got a number of really hateful replies from her fans as well. It upset me so much that I’ve been carrying this around with me for two months, as you can see by the dates.
I’m not going to sit down and let these things happen. I’m lucky enough to have the strength to speak up, but not everybody does. People tend to internalize these things, and it destroys them. From now on, I’m calling this crap out whenever I see it.
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